Manic Mind

 

God, why can’t I stop 

crying, 

​

                                             [Last night I wanted to die]

​

hollow chest, and bloodshot

eyes—anxiety kissed my brain and created 

paranoia.

​

                                            The droplets spill, caressing 

                                                  my body; baby blue

                                                ovals comfort my palm, 

                                                  [chooser of my fate]

                                              she almost tempted me;

                                      I cry some more, or is it just the water

                                                  forging into my skin?

                                     [the contentment only lasts for so long]

​

I’m alone with my autonomic mind,

at the bottom of the tub

trying to hold myself together

​

                                            [like a closed tulip in the rain]

Attempting to be:

Regulated. 

Contained. 

 

Anything to stop from subconsciously 

Relapsing 

back into the cycle, so for now 

everything goes back into the bottle.